Many productivity books today only emphasize the “doing it” part. Getting Things Done uses a simple system to boost your time-management skills so that get more work done in a day. The 4-Hour Workweek teaches you to save time by deleting, ignoring or outsourcing non-essential work. Both of these books have tremendous value at the skill level; teaching you how to do things efficiently.

Meaningful productivity is more than a skill set though. It balances action with purpose; competence with character. Why? Because efficiency without direction is like straightening chairs on the deck of the titanic. It looks good, but you’re still going down. On the other hand, direction without efficiency is like hiring a preacher to do your plumbing. Great ethics (hopefully) but do they have the ability to do the job well?

For long-term success, you need an equal amount of both: knowing what to do and the best way to do it. Since most of us have resources for how to get things done, let’s figure out what needs doing. Arguably, this is the more challenging of the two.

To help you out, let’s look at Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

The needs are stacked and supported from the bottom up. So if you are struggling for air from an asthma attack (physiological), spending quality time with your wife (love/belonging) or hiking the Appalachian Trail (achievement - esteem) won’t help you much. You address the base need.

Many people overlook the importance of lower needs. For example, let’s suppose you’re passionate about your career (achievement - esteem). So you work long hours at your job; sometimes working nights and weekends. To meet deadlines, perhaps you ignore family time (love/belonging), proper rest and a healthy diet (physiological).

Here’s the problem though. Sacrificing a lower need for a higher one creates short-term success with a crumbling foundation. Eventually, your body gets too sick and forces you to rest. Or your marriage is void of love and there’s no relationship to save. In the Seven Habits book, Covey calls this process the P/PC Balance. Put simply, your long-term production of higher needs depend on how well you maintain your lower needs.

Start at the Bottom

The bottom is usually the best place to start. Learn to take good care of your body first because without it, you won’t produce much. Some of these needs include:

• Getting a Good Night’s Rest
• Exercising a Few Days a Week
• Taking Consistent Breaks from Work
• Eating a Healthy Diet
• Drinking 8-10 Glasses of Water a Day
• Having an Outlet for Sex

Moving Up

Everything you want flows from of a deeper need somewhere in the pyramid. For example, perhaps you want a new car. But why do you really want it? What deeper need is it fulfilling? It may be for social status and achievement (esteem). Perhaps it is to please your wife (love/belonging). Maybe it’s only to get you to work (safety). Whatever the case, you don’t act from wants. You act from needs.

Spend some time observing what you do and why you do it. The goal is to find the deeper need and determine if that action will most appropriately meet that need. With time management, perhaps a lower need must be met first.

There’s no one answer I can give you. Your needs depend on your situation. They are unique to you and only you can realize what they are. Perhaps you don’t need to start by working out in the morning. Perhaps you need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with someone. If in doubt, satisfy the lowest needs first because they support everything else.

Self Actualization

Advertisers are great at hitting deeper needs. If you only buy their product, you will have your hair blowing perfectly in the breeze, be chased by hundreds of beautiful women, or have finally “made it.” Of course, when you buy the product, that illusion quickly fades.

Meaningful productivity is learning to see through projected meaning. It’s not about wanting or achieving more, but learning to need less. It’s a progressive movement to self actualization and experiencing your own potential. Through inner-contemplation, you skip non-essential pursuits and address higher needs by maintaining lower ones. As Einstein said, “Make everything as simple as possible but no simpler.”

Your mom passes away. You lose your job or go bankrupt. Your special event is canceled due to rain. Your plans didn’t quite work out. And it happens again and again in different forms. When life changes, you have little power over what happens. All you can do is choose your response. You have two choices: (1) work with life or (2) work against it.

Working with life lets you embrace what is and move toward a solution. You weather the storm and are better because of it. Working against life only adds to the suffering. Now, your problem is not only external. It’s also internal.

Listed below are 10 choices people make that work against life; responses you may want to avoid.

The 10 Worst Responses to Suffering

1. Assuming Too Much Control - You’ve been given control over the decisions you make. This in turn influences the world around you. Added suffering happens when you confuse what you influence with what you control. “She should act differently. That should have turned out another way. This shouldn’t be.” If you’re saying the word should, you’ve assumed too much.
2. Not Taking Responsibility - The gap between stimulus and response is the power to choose. But giving up that response-ability makes you powerless. You become a victim of your environment. You’re up when things are up. Down when things are down.
3. Unaware of Projection - You do not see the world as it is, but as you are. You project meaning onto the world through perception or mental maps. While life is certainly difficult, the degree of it is relative to you. In reality, you make the rules and project it onto events.
4. Living in the Past - Instead of embracing what is, you live in your head. You compare, complain and criticize the moment with the past. You focus on how good it used to be and how things doesn’t match up today. Or worse, you combine #4 with #2. You say that you are powerless and imprisoned by your past and that you or the situation can’t change.
5. Living in the Future - Again, you live in your head but with a different focus. Now your thoughts are directed toward hope or security. You worry about events that aren’t happening or you are wait for the day you finally make it.
6. Pretending Happiness is Out There - You place your source of peace on a changing environment. You keep in it that special relationship, that amazing car or that upcoming paycheck. If it were to be taken from you, you would never recover. Your life would have no meaning.
7. Over Labeling your Experience - There is an ebb and flow to everything. Thoughts come and go. Emotions come and go. All things come and go. But if you don’t get this, you may over label your experience instead of simply experience it.
8. Living in Denial - You may live in denial to avoid its growing pains of external suffering. Perhaps you don’t think you can handle it so you avoid facing it. But moving away from the truth of your situation only keeps internal suffering in place. So it slowly eats at you.
9. Failing to Understand - Ignorance is part of being human. Not knowing what to do and doing it. You make the same mistake over and over until you finally learn your lesson.
10. Failing to Act - Incompetence is another part of being human. Knowing what to do and not doing it. Sometimes you may be unable or just unwilling. You must summon the courage to embrace the growing pains of suffering.

The challenge is not what lies before us. It is our response to it. External suffering has and always will exist. Internal suffering, however, is a choice you make. By learning to work with life, you create the internal strength to rise above its limitations. By resisting what is (responses #1-10), you only create more suffering. It’s challenging either way, so choose wisely.

To be consistently creative – especially in writing or art – you need to find the balance. Some days, you push through. Other times, you let go and surrender to the process. Listed below are 13 brainstorming tools, ranging from effort to effortless, to help you do that. So pick and choose what is most appropriate for you at this moment.

1. Traditional Brainstorming – This is done by clarify a direction and then asking who, what, when, where and how in response to it; allowing any free associations to be voiced.
2. Reverse Brainstorming – This is the same procedure as before but with a different focus. What is stopping me from achieving this goal? What must I overcome to accomplish this? What prevents me from naturally getting there?
3. 20/20 List – Open a word document and set a timer for 20 minutes. Make it simple and to the point. Whatever your goal or direction, push yourself to list 20 or more ways in under 20 minutes.
4. Use Software – Perhaps your imagination is more engaged by pictures and associations. Freeware software like Edraw can help you map it out visually using symbols, areas, and pictures to map out your ideas.
5. Do More Research – Go to the library or look online and read what other people have written. Gain more perspective on that subject of interest and incorporate any ideas into your thinking.
6. Form a Group – Find a bunch of like-minded individuals. Make sure it is a creative bunch that works well together.
7. Ask a Bystander – Bounce ideas off of your wife, neighbor, co-worker, or boss. Ask your children or parents. Get other perspectives and creative juices flowing.
8. Work at your Peak - What time is the best time of day for you? A lot of people say that it’s important to start a task and stick to it 100% until finished. This approach is capitalizes on energy only when it is available.
9. Keep an Ongoing Bullet List – Some ideas won’t hit you all at once. They need to settle in your mind. You may start a list and then come back to it, letting it form over a series of days or weeks.
10. Post-It Questions – Place sticky notes with the question you want answered in random parts of your life. You could put one in your car, in a drawer in your desk, in your shower, etc. Your brain may be surprised by it and supply an ingenious idea in response.
11. Always Carry a Pad and Paper – Some of the best ideas hit you when you least expect it. You’ll be stuck in traffic and boom… It hits you. So be prepared for it.
12. Hold a Positive Intention - Aligning your thoughts with the direction of your goal increases the likelihood that it will come to you. So let go of any resistance that you will find a solution.
13. Just Be Still – Amazing things happen when you free yourself from distractions and thoughts; in the case, forcing creativity. By being still, you allow the answers to come without forcing them.

Brainstorming sessions may create hundreds of mediocre ideas and a handful of great ones. The gems, however, are worth the effort. To improve your ratio, try to work intuitively. Is your mental block something you need to let go of or push through? Follow your gut as to what you should do.

To be free of overdrafts, you need to address both issues. Over-spending is a problem for most people. They simply try to live a lifestyle they can’t afford. They portray an image of success while drowning in overdraft fees, maxed out credit cards, and over-priced car and house payments. So once you know your digging a hole, stop digging.

Managing the flow of money is a bit trickier. Often times, overdraft charges can sneak up in forgotten checks or overly swiped cards. To help you grow in your ability to manage your money, try applying some of the following tips:

Limit your Activity

Use your bank account as little as possible. The less transactions you make, the easier it is to monitor. So figure out the bare minimum and sort them by withdrawal, paid bills, and paychecks. For me, it’s the following:

• 4 - 5 ATM withdrawals a month (taken out at the first of the week)
• 5 - 10 Paid Bills (rent/mortgage, water & sewer, cable, phone, car insurance, etc)
• 2 - 3 Paychecks (work, residual income, special events, etc)

If you have excessive withdrawals, you can lower activity by switching to a cash budget. You still actively spend money, but your bank statement only shows four withdrawals a month; at the first of each week.

You can also stop carrying plastic with you. It’s easy to rationalize spending money you shouldn’t when you can access it with the flick of the wrist. It’s a lot harder when you’ve only got cash. When you run out of it, you know immediately.

Anticipate Clearing Dates

Each time you write a check, you extend a promise of future payment. Your check remains outstanding until the clearing date; when the money is taken from your account. To not lose sight of this gap, keep a running list of any checks, debits or auto withdrawals that haven’t cleared. Also, add any upcoming bills to this list.

Date Paid/Due - Payment Type - Bill - Expected Clearing Date - Status ——————————————————————
May 23, 2008 - Check # ???? - Cell Phone - Exp: May 27, 2008 - Waiting
May 17, 2008 - Auto Withdrawal - Car Insurance - Exp: Same Day - Waiting
May 09, 2008 - Check #2322 - Mortgage/Rent - Exp: May 14, 2008 - Paid
May 04, 2008 - Check #2321- Water & Sewer - May 10, 2008 - Cleared

Daily Monitoring

Most banks allow you to sign up to view your account online. My online account shows cleared items and some pending ones (if it’s used on a debit card). Every morning, check your statement online and review your list of anticipated clearing dates to keep in mind throughout your day. It’s a simple exercise that shouldn’t take more than a minute.

Learn from the Past

Pull up your last few months of bank statements (mailed copies, online, direct from the bank) and look for any destructive patterns. See how previous overdrafts could have been avoided and circle any frivolous spending. Look for what your essential withdrawals, paid bills and paychecks. You may need to update some of your lists. The point of all this is be make better financial decisions by being more aware of your spending.

The challenge with mental maps is their accuracy. Each map is limited by context; each a relative truth. To help you understand this, look at the picture of square boxes. As you can see, it’s a random grouping of red, blue, and green squares. When you create a meaning (or map) for an event, the first limitation is holding a narrow context; focusing attention on only one color. For example, a traffic jam might create sadness and depression (blue) for you, anger or frustration for me (red), and a peaceful opportunity to listen to a personal development book (green) for someone else. A narrow context feels experientially true because it focuses attention on the details that validate it.

The second limitation is an out-dated map. With life, the order of the squares change with new colors being introduced. An out-dated map creates the experience that the map should be the territory; the blue box should have been there.

Improving Accuracy

Suspend Judgment - To improve accuracy, suspend your judgments (old maps) long enough to experience the territory. What exactly is happening at this moment? Many people only see the past in the present. They look through old, out-dated maps that no longer represent the territory of life. They are quick to label people and situations; giving advice without fully listening or understanding the problem. Be present enough to embrace what is happening.

Take Action - Once you have a good understanding, take action. Even if you act from a poor map, you’ll know if it was effective or not. You are guaranteed results. The real value is not to hit the bulls eye, but to improve the aim. The more choices you make, the more consistent and accurate you become. So take action, observe the results, adjust your maps, and repeat the process.

Have Humility - Even when your perception seems accurate, have a little humility. Recognize that your knowledge and experience isn’t comprehensive. It is a small slice of the pie. By doing so, you make room for ignorance and the potential of tomorrow. Even if your judgment is right today, will it be true tomorrow? How do you that know for certain? Truth is only relative in the moment. Humility helps us embrace change.

Equal Opportunity - A map is most effective when applied correctly. The point is not to “think positively” and only see the green squares in life. It’s about developing the wisdom to know what to apply. Sometimes, feeling fear, anger or sadness is the perfect response. So no map is wrong; just less effective for the situation.

Why is this So Difficult?

In order to act with absolute accuracy, you’d need two things: to know all the information that exists (omniscience) and have the means to comprehend it (omnipotence). In other words, you’d need be God. Since you are limited in both areas, conscious growth is the next best thing. And when you embrace the adventure of conscious choice, you begin to experience your own potential.

An emotional deposit is a perceived act of love. To put money in, you must know what type of deposit this relationship accepts. What appears to be a deposit to you may not be for someone else. For example, you may want encouragement while your boss wants cooperative action. It’s not right or wrong. It’s perception. To increase trust, both of you must identify the type and deposit accordingly.

Types of Emotional Deposits

There are five main types of emotional deposits in Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages. He applies these deposits to marriages, but they are necessary for every relationship:

Words of Affirmation - These are words of encouragement. Telling someone you appreciate them, you enjoyed their company, you love them, and so on. It is writing little notes and letters, sending emails and text messages, or leaving voice mails.

Quality Time - Quality time is not just being in the same room with somebody. You give the person your attention. This means listening when they speak, engaging them in the moment, and enjoying whatever you do with each other.

Gifts - A gift is something physical. It doesn’t have to be something expensive (you buy them a coffee or a Christma card). It is offered at birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, on sick days or whenever.

Acts of Service - Acts of service (my personal favorite) is when a someone acts to express love. It could be running an errand, following through on a commitment, or helping out in some way.

Physical Touch - Physical touch shows affection through a hand shake, a hug and a kiss, etc. In a more intimate relationship, this includes sexual needs and desires.

Interacting

Most people don’t fit into one category. I don’t. You probably won’t either. Why? Because different relationships ask for different deposits. From your boss, you may want encouragement. He wants acts of service. Your wife may desire quality time. You may want acts of service and physical touch. It all depends on the situation and the relationship.

Often times, withdrawals come from poor expectations. We assume the person should know how to treat us without actually telling them. This ambiguity creates a gap that many relationships fall through. To increase the level of trust, have the courage to communicate openly and honestly.

Then all of a sudden, we started acting human. Our flaws and weaknesses came up. We misread each other’s intentions and actions. And boy did we fight! Eventually though, we stopped being stubborn and made our apologies.

Part of being human is learning to communicate effectively. We knew we had lost the relationship’s direction in the content of the moment. We gave up being loving for being right. In a fight, effective communication is clouded with ego. A solution of mutual growth becomes one-sided growth (where the other person must change). Being two growth-minded people, fighting was a poor solution for us. So to help prevent future fights, my girlfriend and I created a pause card.

A pause card is a condensed version of your relationship’s direction. It lists the core values and principles that guide your joint decisions. Our pause card also includes a few questions to help return us to those values. The card is no bigger than a credit card and it slips right into a wallet or purse.

Defining the Relationship’s Direction

Both of you have reasons for being in the relationship. But you need to clarify them. Allow each other to express individual needs and expectations. What are your physical needs? spiritual needs? emotional needs? strength and weaknesses? What are your wants and preferences? What is your purpose? Listen openly and come to a mutual understanding.

Defining your relationship’s direction is an ongoing process and a joint effort. The wording will shift as life does. Keep in mind that direction is more about principles than specific roles and responsibilities. It is applied more than attained. For example, to express love or to think win/win doesn’t require a certain role or situation, just a willingness to apply it.

Create a Pause Card

Condense your purpose down to a few sentences or words. Print it onto something that you can carry around with you. Here is our pause card as an example:

Pause Card:

Listen - Am I truly listening to my spouse or just trying to be heard?

Love - Am I wanting to be loving or to be right? Have I made room for their humanity?

Learn - Where is the opportunity for growth? What is the lesson here?

Let Go - Am I trying to control something outside of me? Am I being respectful?

In a fight, words and actions usually target the other person’s weaknesses. To disarm this, the pause card can only be used on yourself.

Communicating Effectively

In most situations, the best thing you can do is return to your direction. By focusing on another person’s weakness (even if it’s an accurate observation), you’re wrong. You’ve given up the direction of your relationship and your responsibility to be loving, to listen, to learn and to let go. Regardless of how human your spouse may act in the moment, you are not absolved from your responsibility to the direction.

Mutual growth is a very rewarding process but it takes work. You must be willing to commit yourself to the direction, rise above your humanity and help your spouse do the same. This can be a slow process at times requiring compassion and patience on both sides. But it’s worth it.

Creating a Solid Emergency Fund

Make it Accessible - An emergency fund should be just that: accessible in an emergency. If you are stranded on the side of the road, the emergency money hiding under your mattress won’t help you much. Keep it in a checking or savings account where you can debit it immediately. Or keep a portion of it with you if you like.

Set it Up Now - Don’t wait. Set this up as early as possible. Have at least $500-$1000 in savings before tackling any major debt (only pay the with minimum payments). Deposit whatever you can right now, even if its just $50.00.

Determine your Goals - What is an emergency to you? When are you allowed to pull from this account? It’s important to determine this now. Write down a list of items this fund will cover. Also, how much are you aiming for? $1,000? $10,000? Determine your safety-net amount.

Make Consistent Deposits - Be consistent about making regular deposits. Once you’ve reached your safety net amount, you can use that momentum snow ball to make small deposits toward your debt.

Let your Money make you Money - Your emergency money doesn’t have to sit in some savings account. You can put it in a money market account and have it make money for you. I have my emergency money in a PayPal account where it currently receives 2.88% annually and pays out each month.

You can also request a PayPal debit card for your account to quickly withdraw the money when you need it. If your money is going to sit there, you may as well profit from it. PayPal has some of the best security and fraud protection available and is completely FREE.

Understand your Position

At the time, I was living on a budget that was well above my income. I knew that. In order to live within a working budget, I had two options: 1) I could increase my income or 2) decrease my wants. To get out of debt quickly, I chose both.

The first thing I did was separate my needs from wants. Using a Microsoft Excel sheet, I created a ledger, five month forecast, and monthly pie charts to see where my spending was going. It helped my track exactly how much I would need for each week.

Using a Cash Budget

Once you know how much you’ll need each week, go to the ATM and one withdrawal. Take out only that amount of money. Then, divide up all the money into its appropriate amounts and spend only that.

The first month is the adjusting period. You can be flexible here. It’s OK. The first thing you may notice while on a cash budget is how fast it goes! If you can, give yourself some space and allow yourself to create a working budget. The important thing is to be aware of your spending habits and to live on a budget well below your income. If you have some serious debt though, you may not have the luxury of that flexibility.

An Easy Transition

Budgeting can be difficult for people who are new to it are used to spend a lot of money. To help make an easier transition into money management, I suggest trying the following:

- Collect Receipts. Have an envelope in your glove compartment that you can put all the month’s receipts into.

- Budget a little extra spending money. Give yourself cash that has no category. You can do whatever you want, whenever. It’s therapeutic. Believe me.

- Stick with it. People think that if they’ve blown the budget, they should just give up. That’s ridiculous. It’s the same thinking that got you into debt in the first place. Realize that its OK to bend the budget at times, but always choose to follow through.

- Keep one credit card in your wallet. Make sure you leave your debit card at home. Use the cash system and carry around one credit card for emergencies ONLY. If you think of emergencies as a extra value meal or a new stereo, leave it home also. Call someone if you have an emergency.

Once you know what is an emotional deposit for them, see if any of the following can apply!

20 Ways to be Spontaneously Romantic

1. Sticky Notes - Write little jokes or phrases that are personal to your relationship. Hide these sticky notes in random places (in her car, cook book, a drawer, etc). Anywhere it would be a surprise.

2. Note on the Pillow - Write a hand-written note and put it on her pillow.

3. Mail Her a Funny Random Card - Go to the store and find a hilariously random card. Make sure to mail it to her.

4. Run the Bath Water for Her - If you know she’ll be home at a certain time, start the bath water for her and set out a towel. If it’s not too cheesy for you or her, light a few candles and get some bubbles going.

5. Have her Friends Spy for You - This is great and can help you anticipate things. You’ll have a small remedy to any problems her friends may have told you. She’ll have no idea.

6. Mystery Date - Tell her the time and place you’ll pick her up. Also tell her to bring something for a mystery date (a jacket, an umbrella, or something random). You don’t actually have to use it. Just make sure she brings something. It’ll make her wonder.

7. Call or Email her Parents - Let them know how much you appreciate their daughter

8. Lunch Break - Stop by her work for her lunch break with lunch… unannounced.

9. Morning Coffee - Wake up before her and have coffee ready and her favorite reading material. Better yet, go get her some Starbucks!

10. Lie to Her - Tell her you’ll running late as your about to knock on the door. Tell her you can’t fly down as your getting off the plane. As long as it doesn’t create problems, playfully surprise her.

11. Make her a CD - Compile some songs that are special to you two. Give it to her.

12. Fill up her Gas Tank - If you borrow her car, fill up her tank and vacuum it out (if you clean it, I wouldn’t throw stuff away).

13. Grocery Gift - Every so often, when you are shopping for your weekly groceries, throw something in that you think she might like.

14. Take a Walk - Take 20 minutes away from your busy lives to take a walk. Let go of your thoughts and just be with each other.

15. Play Music - If you play an instrument of some sort, pull it out and serenade her. If she plays too, have her join in.

16. Skip in Public - That’s right. Don’t be afraid to be a dork. She’ll love you for it.

17. Thumb War - A solid game of thumb war can be extremely romantic. What’s more romantic you ask? A rematch of course.

18. Open All Doors - This includes car doors. You can even buckle her in.

19. Cook her Dinner - Always a good choice.

20. Actually Listen - This is actually a great way to come up with spontaneously romantic ideas. Just listen to her and the ideas will come to you